Fried Turkey and the Goblet of Fire

Fried Turkey and the Goblet of Fire

Our Dinner: Deep Fried Turkey

Welcome back to Doc’s Dinner and a Movie.  I know I already ran this but it is Thanksgiving season so I'm going right back to my first features, Deep Fried Turkey and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  An interesting match I know but, honestly, that’s what you’re dealing with.  That’s right friends, the ancient method of torture and execution is the cooking method of the 21^st century!  Basically we will be dunking a dead turkey into a vat of boiling oil!

Ok first and foremost this can be dangerous.  So unless you have a sizable remodeling budget set aside do this outdoors!  If you are not careful this can turn into an explosive vat of boiling oil in excess of 350°.  Get a proper turkey fryer and follow its instructions.  Trust me this is well worth it. Here is what you’ll need.

·         1 Turkey 10-13 lbs

·         ¼ cup of Salt.

·         ¼ cup of Pepper.

·         ¼ cup of Garlic Powder.

·         Apple Juice and a meat injector (these are neat you can get them at any cooking or home goods store)

·         Canola oil or Peanut oil. This would depend on allergies.  You do not want to kill your dinner guests.  Make sure you get something with a high smoke point.

·         1 cooking companion

·         2 Beers your choice

Make sure that the turkey is completely defrosted.  It’s a good idea to rinse off both outside and inside of the bird. Then thoroughly dry and then you set it onto whatever gizmo your fryer came with to lower into the oil as it makes a nice stand. Mix the salt, pepper and garlic and rub down the bird.  Certainly adjust the rub to personal tastes. You can let the turkey sit and relax for a bit. Give it a chance to get to room temperature.

Now you can start getting the oil ready.  As I said before “vat of boiling oil” so please keep it a safe distance from anything flammable.  Set up on a flat surface with nothing overhead. If it is snowing or raining I’m afraid it ain’t happening.  You want to get the oil up to 350°.

So you are just about ready for the medieval torture.  First we’re going add some extra flavor.  Fill your meat injector with apple juice.  Inject half into each breast.  Feel free to issue any threats or offers of last requests to your victim.  Any will do.

Now it’s time.  Bring the bird out to your own little Goblet of Fire and slowly lower it into the oil.  This is not for effect; you don’t want to just dump it into the oil this can cause it to spill over.  But have fun with it.  Feel free to taunt, laugh maniacally, or relive some good James Bond moments in your own way.  You know, “Do you expect me to talk?” “No Mr. Bond I expect you to fry!”

Now we wait, but not too long and there is no need to do this alone.  Grab your companion and 2 beers.  Please do not get drunk next to the vat of boiling oil! It is important to watch this thing.  Monitor the temperature, “Constant Vigilance”.  There should be these convenient dials and thermometer on the fryer, please use them.  You want to cook this bird at about 3 minutes per pound. Times up and pull out slowly.  Let it drip back into the pot a bit then place it on a flat surface with paper towels and let the excess oil dry off.  Let it rest for about 10-15 minutes before carving.  Serve with your favorites and enjoy!

Our Movie: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Yeah I know I started with #4, what can I say, I grew up watching Star Wars. Harry and the gang are back for another adventure.  This time Harry is a Hogwarts Champion of the Tri-Wizard Tournament.  We also welcome two new members to the cast both doing a great job.  Brendan Gleeson as Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody the new Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher and Ralph Fiennes as Lord Vol… I mean You Know Who. 

 

I really enjoyed this one.  They did a very good job about what to leave out from the book.  Though I was really looking forward to watching Mr. Weasley jumping out of the Dursley’s fireplace they made up for it by removing any references to SPEW.  Also anyone else who was sickened by the Twilight movies has something to look forward to at the end.

The beginning of the movie is very fast paced.  Short scenes and a lot of information and before you know it we are at Hogwarts welcoming the students from the two other schools making up the Tri-Wizard Tournament.  We have the Durmstrang Institute run by Igor Karkarov and championed by the Bulgarian Seeker Viktor Krum.  Next the Beauxbaton Academy of Magic headed by Madame Maxime (her flying horses drink only single malt whiskey, nice) whose champion is Fleur Delacour.  Harry and Cedric Diggory, the Huffelpuff seeker, both represent Hogwarts.

The dragon for the first task looked pretty cool.  Harry leads it on a chase around the castle before steeling the egg it was protecting.  Before the second task we get to see some awkward adolescent attempts at courtship.  This includes Harry and Cho, Hermione and Ron, Hermione and Viktor, Ron and Professor McGonagall, for a fun scene, Ron and Fluer, Harry, Ron and the Patel Sisters and finally Hagrid and Madam Maxime with a lovely attempt at an ass grab by Hagrid at the Yule Ball.  Ah high school. 

 

The second task we got to see some magical creatures that had been reference before but not shown.  The mermaids are not the beautiful sirens of legend but nasty little creatures and the grindylows look like squid on crack.  The only weird thing about this scene is that there are stands for people to watch and cheer.  Of course after they jumped into the lake you can’t see a damned thing, so I hope the tickets were cheap.

Right before the third task there is a fun scene which I guess takes place at study hall or a test that is supervised by Snape who take great delight in helping Harry and Ron focus on their work.  Snape is underused in this movie which is kind of a shame because Alan Rickman was just perfect as the greasy potions master.   

The third and final task is the massive hedge maze.  Old Jack Torrance would have hated this place.  And again more spectator stands that can’t see anything… While I was hoping to see the Sphinx that was in the book I still liked the scene as it focused more on suspense than creature power.  The maze leads to the Tri-Wizard cup and fame and glory to the one who captures it! Possibly, maybe well not really but it’s still fun to watch so enjoy.

Great Lines

Moody:  Ms. Delacour is as much a fairy princess as I am.

McGonagall: Professor Moody, what are you doing??

Moody: Teaching. (whilst bouncing Draco Malfoy as a little white ferret)

McGonagall: Is that a student?!?!

Moody: Technically it’s a ferret.

Neville: Oh my God, I’ve killed Harry Potter! 

Harry: Hey, my eyes are not glistening with the ghosts of my past! 

Moody: (Staring at Harry) The killing curse.  Only one person is known to have survived it, and he is sitting in this room.

Thanks and remember Eat, Drink and watch a Movie.